WEBVTT

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[Damien]: Just for the hell of it.

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[Ernie]: Well...

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[Damien]: Why not? Huh?

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[Ernie]: You don't, you don't want to go to jail.

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[Damien]: Exactly.  Now you don't want to go to there? {hits something with bat} 

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[Damien]: You gonna?  Cuz I'm done.  This is it.

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[Ernie]: You don't wanna...

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[Damien]: Three more tries, and I'm already getting this in my right hand.

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[Ernie]: You don't need... 

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[Damien]: What is it going to be?

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[Ernie]: You don't want to go to jail.

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[Damien]: I'm giving you three chances. Either tell me. I'm out or not.

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[Damien]: Which one?

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[Ernie]: Damien? You don't...

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[Damien]: Is your car so important? Or your son? Which one?

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[Ernie]: Damien?

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[Damien]: Or all of this. It doesn't fucking matter.

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[Damien]: I'm just gonna give you a minute now, I'm out or not.

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[Damien]: Which one is it gonna fucking be, cuz I'm tired of this shit.

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[Damien]: 60 seconds.

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[Damien]: 60, 59, 58, 57, 56...

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[Ernie]: Damien, you don't have to count... down

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[Damien]: 55, 54, 53, 52, 51, 50

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[Damien]: I'm going to stop at 50 real quick and just say this is how I got to cope with my own fucking father.

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[Damien]: That's being a dick to me.

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[Ernie]: How, how...

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[Damien]: It's been a fucking hour.

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[Damien]: So either answer yes or no.

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[Damien]: To this question I'm about to ask you, am I, do you want me, are you going to kick me out or not?

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[Damien]: 50...

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[Ernie]: It depends on what you do.

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[Ernie]: 48, 47...

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[Ernie]: It depends on what you do, Damien.

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[Ernie]: 46, 45, 44...

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[Ernie]: If you follow the rules...

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[Damien]: 43, 42, 41, 40...

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[Ernie]: How can you hear me if you're busy counting?

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[Damien]: Because I can still hear you.

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[Ernie]: Okay, well if you're going to follow the rules and if you're going to be respectful, then you can stay.

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[Ernie]: But if you're not going to try to follow the rules and if you're not going to be respectful...

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[Ernie]: Then you can't stay.

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[Ernie]: I gave you the answer just now.

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[Ernie]: Then you can't stay.

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[Damien]: So where was I?

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[Damien]: 40, okay, 40, no.

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[Ernie]: I gave you the answer just now.

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[Damien]: 39, so no?

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[Damien]: That's your answer?

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[Ernie]: You can play...

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[Damien]: Look, I'm either getting yes or no.

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[Damien]: Otherwise it's an invalid answer and I don't have time for this shit and I'm going to bust your fucking car.

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[Ernie]: Alright, you're recording it.

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[Damien]: You're fucking around like a bitch.

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[Ernie]: You're recording it.

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[Damien]: 39, I am.

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[Damien]: 38, 37, 36, 35, 34, 33

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[Damien]: 32, 31, 30.

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[Damien]: We're at the 30 minutes now.

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[Ernie]: I gave you the answer.

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[Ernie]: What you have to understand is you have to be...

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[Damien]: No, it's either yes or no.

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[Damien]: Dumb ass.

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[Damien]: Otherwise it's an invalid answer.

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[Damien]: Pretend this is like a fucking mediation test.

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[Ernie]: But ask yourself...

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[Damien]: Lie detector test.

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[Ernie]: Why would you want to do this, when you can relax...

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[Damien]: Because you're a dick and you're about to fucking ruin my life.

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[Damien]: So either answer it because I'm...

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[Damien]: I'd rather just wreck your shit than waste my fucking life even more.

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[Damien]: So...

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[Damien]: It's been 18 years.

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[Ernie]: You're going to...

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[Damien]: Okay.

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[Ernie]: You're going to ruin your own life.

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[Ernie]: Don't do this.

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[Damien]: 27, 26...

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[Ernie]: Damien.

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[Damien]: 25...

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[Ernie]: There is no wrecking...

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[Damien]: Either yes or no because I'm tired of your bitch ass. I'd rather just fucking kill you to be honest.

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[Damien]: 25, 24, 23...

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[Ernie]: Damien, why are you so angry?

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[Damien]: 22... because you fucked up my life.

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[Damien]: Fuck you.

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[Damien]: 20, 19...

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[Damien]: 18...

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[Damien]: 17...

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[Damien]: 16...

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[Ernie]: You don't have to do this.

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[Damien]: 15...

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[Damien]: It's getting

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[Damien]: This is it.

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[Damien]: 15...

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[Damien]: 14...

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[Ernie]: Why don't you calm down?

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[Damien]: 13...

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[Damien]: 12...

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[Damien]: Either yes or no.

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[Damien]: 10...

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[Ernie]: I gave you an answer, Damien.

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[Damien]: 9...

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[Damien]: You're not a valid one.

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[Damien]: This is it.

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[Ernie]: Well this isn't...

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[Damien]: 10 seconds.

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[Ernie]: This isn't how it works.

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[Ernie]: It doesn't have to be like this.

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[Ernie]: It wouldn't be like this right now.

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[Ernie]: It doesn't...

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[Damien]: It's either I'm...

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[Ernie]: It doesn't have to be like this, Damien.

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[Damien]: You're about to ruin our relationship...

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[Damien]: Horribly

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[Ernie]: Damien, you don't have to do this.

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[Damien]: So either tell me: am I kicked out, or not?

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[Ernie]: Are you going to follow the rules and try?

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[Damien]: Fuck this shit. 10, 9

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[Ernie]: You have to try to follow my rules.

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[Damien]: 7, 6...

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[Ernie]: And my rules are pretty easy.

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[Damien]: 5, 4...

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[Ernie]: You take out the trash.

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[Ernie]: No cursing.

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[Ernie]: No walking around with bats.

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[Ernie]: Respecting...

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[Damien]: One!

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[Ernie]: ... the person that owns the house.

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[Damien]: This is it. One second left. And I'm done.

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[Ernie]: You don't want to do that, Damien.

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[Ernie]: Why would you do that?

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[Ernie]: You don't have to do that.

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[Ernie]: Nobody's forcing you to do that.

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[Damien]: Alright, guys {speaking to his streaming audience}, well... I don't have a choice.

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[Damien]: He's ruined my life.

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[Damien]: This is what it comes down to.

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[Ernie]: You really don't have to do that.

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[Damien]: You coming down those steps?

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[Ernie]: No, I'm not going down the steps.

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[Damien]: Yeah... I see you moving. Yep.  Yes or no, dad?

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[Ernie prepares to lock self in office and call cops]

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[Ernie]: Why don't you relax?

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[Damien]: Dad.

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[Ernie]: Yeah.

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[Damien]: I'm extra concerned of where you're going.

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[Ernie]: No. Just relax.

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[Damien]: Yeah.

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[Ernie]: See?

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[Ernie]: Relax.

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[Damien]: No. Can't see. Bully...

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[Ernie]: Well, look. I'm going to sit back down where I've been.

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[Damien]: Either yes or no.

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[Damien]: This is it.

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[Damien]: Because I'd rather just fuck this shit up right now.

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[Ernie]: Now, why would you do that?

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[Damien]: Yes or no.

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[Damien]: This is it.

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[Damien]: No further conversation with you.

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[Ernie]: If you follow the rules that I put forth in this house...

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[Damien]: Yes or no.

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[Ernie]: ...then you're allowed to stay.

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[Ernie]: But if you refuse to follow the rules and refuse to try to follow the rules, then you can't continue to stay here.

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[Ernie]: One of the rules is you can't...

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[Damien]: I'm just going to take that as a no, then.

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[Ernie]: One of the rules is you cannot threaten anybody in the house...

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[Damien]: Because you're threatening... you threaten so many things about me.

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[Ernie]: You can't...

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[Damien]: Again, I'm going to state them...

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[Ernie]: And you can't threaten people or property.

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[Damien]: I can threaten property.

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[Damien]: I can't threaten people.

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[Ernie]: Well, not in the house.

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[Ernie]: Not on our property.

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[Ernie]: No.

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[Damien]: Well guess what, I'm about to do, whether you fucking like it or not.

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[Damien]: I'm going to go to jail anyways, so be fucking happy.

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[Ernie]: You're not going to go to jail, unless you do something stupid.

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[Damien]: Yeah, exactly.

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[Damien]: So be a dumbass. Be a dick.

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[Ernie]: And something stupid would be...

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[Damien]: Which one?

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[Damien]: Yes or no?

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[Damien]: Am I going at it or no?

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[Damien]: I'm tired of this shit!

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[Ernie]: Why don't you calm down?

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[Damien]: I'm tired of this shit!

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[Damien]: Yes or fucking no?!

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[Damien]: You want to ruin my life?

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[Damien]: This is what... I'm about to show America and whoever the fuck else how much anger it is than rather to commit suicide over the depression of this dick fuck.

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[Ernie]: Damien.

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[Damien]: So which one is it?

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[Ernie]: Why don't you relax?

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[Damien begins to smash glass chandelier, TV, windows with bat]

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[Ernie]: Damien!

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[Ernie]: Don't do that!

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[Damien goes outside and smashes Ernie's car and house windows]